Let’s get one thing straight: New Year’s resolutions are a load of crap. You know it. I know it. Everyone who’s ever bought a gym membership on January 1st and ghosted by February 3rd knows it. That’s why, this year, I’m saying “no thanks” to resolutions and embracing manifestations instead.

But not the frou-frou “just ask the universe, and it’ll plop into your lap” kind. Nope. These are down-to-earth, gritty, get-your-hands-dirty goals—and I’m adding a little witchy ceremony to keep things interesting. Let’s dive into my 10 manifestations for 2025.

1. Focus on Tattooing and Becoming a Better Tattoo Artist

Step one: ink more skin, cry less about shaky lines, and figure out how to use a tattoo machine without looking like I’m defusing a bomb. Manifestation: become the go-to artist for clean, classic tattoos that don’t scream “first mistake in Vegas.”

2. Learn More About Astrology

I already know my sun, moon, and rising signs (obviously). But this year, I’m leveling up. By 2025, I want to be the friend who can casually ruin someone’s life with a single birth chart reading. Manifestation: turn my zodiac obsession into an art form—possibly literal art on bodies and canvases.

3. Consume Less

It’s time to stop shopping like I’m trying to stockpile for an apocalypse. This year, I’m focusing on using what I have. Manifestation: Marie Kondo my life without losing my edge (or my favorite boots).

4. Listen to More Pink Floyd

You know what the world needs? More people blasting “Comfortably Numb” on a Tuesday afternoon. Manifestation: channel Pink Floyd vibes into everything I create. If you catch me painting or tattooing with “The Wall” as my soundtrack, don’t interrupt. I’m in the zone.

5. Meditate Daily and Stretch

Every morning, I’ll sit my butt down, clear my head (or try), and stretch like I’m auditioning for a yoga cult. Manifestation: channel inner peace… or at least stop getting pissed off in traffic.

6. Create High-Quality Video Content

No more shaky camera footage that looks like it was filmed on a potato. This year, I’m all about cinematic vibes. Manifestation: moody, aesthetic videos that make my art and life look effortlessly cool (even if they’re not).

7. Develop My Painting Skills

I’m ready to take my canvas game to the next level. Enamel on metal? Acrylic on canvas? Both, please. Manifestation: make art that’ll have people begging, “Take my money!”

8. Be Consistent with My Blog

Consistency is hard when you’re juggling a million things, but this year, the blog is getting the love it deserves. Manifestation: write posts that inspire, entertain, and maybe even convince people to embrace their weirdness.

9. Say “Oh La, La” More

This year, I’m all about sprinkling a little more flair into my life. Manifestation: bring back the art of delighting in the little things, one “oh la, la” at a time.

10. Prioritize Responses Over Reactions

This year, I’m working on thinking before I snap. Manifestation: become the calm, collected person who doesn’t start fights with strangers over nonsense. (It’s a long shot, but hey, I’m manifesting.)

The Ceremony: Manifesting Like a Badass

Here’s where it gets fun. Every morning, after my meditation and stretch (see #5), I perform a ceremony with my trusty metal burn bowl. Let me be clear: this isn’t some over-the-top spooky ritual. It’s me sitting in my living room, trying to tame my ADHD by focusing on things I get to light on fire. And honestly, it works.

Here’s how it goes:

1. Cleanse the Bowl: I cleanse the bowl with incense, palo santo, or smoldering matches. (Glass bowls work too, but I like metal for the dramatic clang when I set it down.)
   
   
2. Add the Ingredients: Inside the bowl, I layer my magical mix:
   
   
   • Mugwort: For protection, femininity, dreamwork, and psychic abilities.
   • Cinnamon (sticks and ground): To attract abundance, positive energy, and enhancement.
   • Black Salt: For protection (and because it looks badass).
   • Dried Flowers: Used in a past ceremony to honor my Leo-in-Venus placement (10th house career—yeah, I’m kind of a big deal).
   • Bay Leaves: For manifesting like a pro.
3. Light the Candles: I burn red and green chime candles during my meditation.
   
   
   • Red: Represents protection, strength, courage, passion, lust, sex, and power.
   • Green: Represents growth, luck, fertility, vitality, creativity, and prosperity.
4. Burn the Manifestation: Using the flame from both candles, I light one manifestation slip on fire and toss it in the bowl. Then, I watch it burn and attempt to scry (think Melisandre from Game of Thrones).
   
   

By the end of the year, the last slip left is the one meant to be my focus. It’s a daily grounding ritual that reminds me I have big dreams and no time to waste. Sure, it might not be as iconic as Jimmy Carter’s peanut farming days or as flashy as carrying a Walmart Birkin bag, but hey, it works for me.

The Final Manifestation

Resolutions may be bullshit, but intentional, badass goal-setting isn’t. So here’s to a year of creating, growing, and maybe, just maybe, becoming the kind of person who doesn’t immediately laugh at the phrase “New Year, New Me.” Cheers to 2025! Happy New Year 2025!